Chewy, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Lactation Cookies (Tell your husband they're lactation cookies and THEY'RE ALL YOURS!!! MUAHahahahhhh!)

With my first child, nearly 3 years ago, I had such an oversupply of milk that I was changing my nursing pads every few hours. I was seriously like this chick...

Now, on my 2nd child, I'm working more, dealing with an illness in the family, and am away from him for more time than I'd like. My supply has definitely taken a hit and while I admittedly care a little less and don't pump like I should, I have less than 1/4 of the frozen stash that I had with the first. It's scary.

I attended the Big Latch On in Michigan over the summer. There was a sample of similar cookies in my goodie bag and they were AMAZING. I even called her to order some for me and a client.  After winning a batch from one of her competitors (NO comparison. None. They were terrible) I decided that maybe I'd try my hand at making my own.

1 c butter, softened
3/4 c sugar
1 1/4 c brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tbsp water
2 tbsp flax seed meal
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 c flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 c oats (not quick cooking)
1 c chocolate chips
2-4 tbsp brewer's (NOT nutritional) yeast (I used 3, I might cut down to 2 or 2.5)

Preheat oven to 350*f
Mix the flax seed meal and water in a small bowl. Let set for 3-5 minutes.
Beat butter, sugar, brown sugar, until creamy.
Add eggs and mix well.
Add flax seed mixture and vanilla, beat well.
In a separate bowl, mix together flour, brewer's yeast, baking soda and salt.
Add flour mixture to butter mixture, about 1/4 c at a time, mixing between scoops, until all has been incorporated.
Stir in the oats and chocolate chips.
Scoop onto a baking sheet (I have non-stick and didn't need any greasing). I used Pampered Chef's Small Cookie Scoop. The cookies are perfect sized.
Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until you see some JUST BARELY golden tips on the cookies.
Remove from the oven, let cookies set 1-2 minutes before moving to a cooling rack.
ENJOY and pump pump pump! ❤

Better Than Hamburger Helper

I really wanted Hamburger Helper, however all I had in the cabinet was Chicken Helper. Being pregnant and knowing what I wanted, that simply would not suffice. So- I attempted to make it myself, from scratch. I just kept tasting and adding until I thought I had it pretty right. I plated, handed it to Mike and asked what he thought. One bite in, "do you have any more?" "Yes, are you super hungry?" "No, this is effing amazing and you should have made more." "Thanks, is it better than Hamburger Helper?" "Absolutely." WOOT!

1 lb ground beef
1/2 lb pasta
1 tsp dried, minced onion
4 oz (1/3 of a small can) tomato paste (I use Hunt's 6oz can with basil, garlic and oregano)
1 1/2 c sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (I had Kraft on hand)
1 1/2 c mozzarella cheese, shredded ( I had Sargento on hand)
1/3-1/2 c grated parmesan cheese (Kraft again)
1 1/2 c fat free half and half
1 c water
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/8 tsp dried, ground mustard
1 pinch oregano

In a medium sauce pan, cook pasta as directed on box, drain and set aside. In a large skillet pan, brown meat with the dried onion, season if desired (I always season my ground beef with a little bit of Crazy Jane's Mixed Up Seasoning Salt, no matter what recipe I'm making). Drain and return to the pan. Over medium heat, mix in tomato paste, water, half and half, and cheeses. Add pasta, and remaining ingredients. Heat, stirring continuously until sauce is thickened. Taste and adjust seasonings as desired. Again, I didn't measure anything, of course, because I almost suspected that we'd be throwing it out. Next time I try this, I'll measure everything and take pictures.

WAIT! Here's a picture of the aftermath... :D

This Lasagna was FAB

So, I totally didn't take pictures because it was only my 2nd time making lasagna ever, people know what lasagna looks like, and because the camera has new batteries in it and is packed in my hospital bag, ready for whenever this kid decides he wants to arrive.

Bare with me as I kinda sorta made this up as I went along...I didn't measure, but these are more estimates (I know y'all hate when I do this to you, but I'm pretty accurate, I think). Let me know if any of my measurements should be changed when you make it...I'll be sure to give you credit too!

Ingredients:

2 lbs ground beef (I used chuck, from a roll. Really, it's quite good)

1/2 tsp dried onion

1/2 tsp dried garlic

2 tsp basil, fresh, diced, divided (you could use about 1 tbsp dried basil)

1 jar Barilla Marinara sauce (you can use other things, this is just what I had on hand)

1 tub (16 oz) Daisy low fat cottage cheese (again, this is what I had on hand)

2 eggs, beaten

1/2 tsp pepper, ground
1/2 tsp dried oregano

1 cup Parmesan cheese, grated

1 lb mozzarella cheese, divided
12-15 lasagna noodles (the no-boil ones are legit as well, but I didn't have them)

Brown ground beef in a medium sauce pan, with onion and garlic, drain any excess fat.
Add marinara sauce and half of the basil. Let simmer about an hour. Add in 2nd half of basil.
Cook lasagna noodles as directed, drain and set aside.
Combine cottage cheese, eggs, pepper, oregano, Parmesan cheese and 1/2 of mozzarella.
In a lasagna pan, layer noodles, cheese mixture, and meat sauce, repeating until it's even with the top of the pan. Top with remaining mozzarella cheese.
Bake at 375 for 30-40 minutes or until cheese mixture is thoroughly melted. I also turned on the broiler for a few seconds to make the top that golden bubbly deliciousness.

I served with a salad and The Pioneer Woman's "The Bread" which, is SERIOUSLY the most easy awesomeness you'll ever come across.

Eventually, ok, SOON I'll make this again and post pictures. I promise. <3

Crispy Coconut Chicken Tenders

Coconut shrimp is my weakness. If you've ever been to the Sagebrush Cantina, theirs is FANTASTIC. I can't help but to order it. It's sweet. Like, donut sweet. Sooooo good. So, back in December, we went to a surprise birthday party for one of Mike's cousins at Downtown Main Martini Bar & Grille in Brighton, MI. We had Coconut Chicken as an appetiser and it was absolutely amazing. I decided to give it a try myself and though I'll be altering the recipe a bit the next time I make it, it still turned out really well for "oven fried."

Ingredients:
1 c coconut
1/2 c flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 1/2 lbs chicken tenders
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/3 c butter, melted

Pre-heat oven to 400*F.
In a flat surfaced container, combine coconut, flour, salt, and pepper.



Dip the chicken tenders into the egg, then coat with the coconut mixture.



Drizzle with melted butter and bake for 25 minutes, turning once.



For additional browning/crispiness, I left them under the broiler for another minute or so more.



Pre-heat oven to 400*F. In a flat surfaced container, combine coconut, flour, salt, and pepper. Dip the chicken tenders into the egg, then coat with the coconut mixture. Place tenders in a shallow, un-greased baking pan, 1 inch apart. Drizzle with melted butter and bake for 25 minutes, turning once. For additional browning/crispiness, I left them under the broiler for another minute or so more.

Next time, I may try more of a batter instead of a dry flour mixture. I'll keep you posted. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comments. Thanks for reading!

Guinness Beef Stew

I love beer. I really love Guinness. If you ever want to make me happy, bring me Guinness. Or better yet, chocolate Guinness cake which, I've had once and obtained and lost the recipe. My new mission is to find it again and share the deliciousness with you.

I've been home for the last 2 weeks, off on maternity leave. Apparently, my job is too far away from the hospital and because of my complications, they're keeping me on a tight leash. Swell. I really don't mind too much, except I'm a bit bored. What better to do than bake and cook my days away? (I don't think The Husband minds much either...he's actually getting home cooked meals again.)

So, I'm stuck at home, knocked up, bored and avoiding (read: not really able to) leaving the house due to the "Snowmageddon" snow storm that covered like 30 states or something like that. Yeah, we got a bunch of snow, it was cold and windy as sin...so what. Sorry- anyway- I decided to make some beef stew. Yummyness.

Ingredients:
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp butter
2 lb. Stew Meat (yes, the label really says "Stew Meat")
1 medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced (I didn't have fresh, so I used the minced crap in a jar, this is an estimate of how much I used)
1 12 oz. bottle of Guinness
4 c beef stock (I use low or no sodium)
1 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 Tbsp tomato paste
.5 tsp cayenne pepper
.5 tsp Kosher salt
1.5 tsp sugar
4-6 whole carrots, unpeeled, washed, very roughly sliced
4-6 new potatoes, very roughly sliced
black pepper, freshly ground - to taste
Water, if needed

In a large skillet, melt butter and add olive oil. Add the meat to brown. I cooked to about medium temperature. While that's cooking, chop your onion. Don't cry, it's just the onion. You should also dice your garlic at this time too...unless you're lazy like me and use the jarred crap. When the meat is browned, remove to a separate cutting board.



Add the diced onions and saute until soft. While that's cooking, cut your meat into smaller, more bite-sized bits. Next, add your garlic and cook for a bout a minute more.



Once the onion and garlic are soft, I transferred them and the remaining liquid from the pan into a large stock pot, as you can see below.

Mmmmm, Guinness.



Measure your Guinness (if you're like me, you get a bigger bottle and drink half...just make sure you save 12 oz. for the stew) and add to the stock pot.



Add in the beef stock. (or in my case, veggie stock, because I had none. Nor did I have any beef bouillon, but truly, no one knew the difference)



Add your tomato paste. You could use more than the recommended amount, if you'd like. Hell, I probably did. I don't measure anything.


Next the Worcestershire Sauce. Notice I didn't clean the measuring spoon from when I added the tomato paste. Again, I don't care that much.



Then, add your sugar, salt, Cayenne pepper and fresh ground pepper. You don't have to separate it here, but I didn't want to have 17 photos of adding various spoons of crap into the stew. That's right, I care about you, the reader, and your time, and your eye balls.



Mmm, meat, in bite-sized pieces.



Toss your meat (gently because the liquid is hot) back into the pot.



After all of the meat is back into the pot, cover and simmer over low heat. Take about a 2 hour time out. Put your feet up, drink a little of the Guinness if you want. Relax. Your meat needs time to tenderize.

Mmmm, carrots. And potatoes.

Coarsely or roughly chop your carrots and potatoes. I cut them into bite sized pieces. The Husband said he like them like that, a bit on the bigger side. I think he feels this stew is "manly-er" because everything was a bit bigger than in the canned soup crap that he eats. ::shudder::

Add your potatoes and carrots to the pot. At this time, you could TOTALLY add other veggies. I contemplated doing so as well but got lazy. I wanted to watch the blizzard rather than chop more stuff.

Cover again, and let simmer at least 45 minutes. Sample the veggies to make sure they're cooked. You should probably sample some more Guinness too. If the soup needs anything more; seasoning, WATER if it's too thick, etc., add it here and simmer a few minutes more.

(Directions without pictures)
Heat oil and butter in a large skillet or pan (you could make this into a 1 Pot Dish or Crock Pot Recipe, but I chose not to.) over medium-high heat. Brown meat. While that's cooking, chop and mince your onions and garlic, keeping them separate. Once meat is cooked, set aside, onto a cutting board. Cut pieces in half and save for later.

Add diced onions to the pan and cook, stirring frequently for a few minutes, until softened. Add the garlic and cook for about another minute. Transfer to large sauce pan or crock pot.

Pour in beer and beef stock. Add Worcestershire, tomato paste, Cayenne pepper, salt, pepper, and sugar. Add beef back into the pot. Stir to combine. Cover and simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

Coarsely chop carrots and potatoes (and other veggies if desired) and add into the pot. Cover and cook for an additional 45-ish minutes. If your stew is too dry, add hot water as needed. Sample and adjust seasonings as needed.

Serve with buttered bread, salad, etc. Whatever. Just ENJOY!


I served this with some buttered Everything Bagel Bread. Soooooo good. The Husband agrees.

Makes about 4 larger servings.

I'm Gettin' Stabby O'er Here!

Don't say anything about my hair or lack of make-up, I'm knocked up and lazy, ok?

Anyway, I come home from visiting a neighbor today and notice fresh footprints in the snow, leading to my front door. Curious, I go in through the garage, as I usually do, and head to the front door.

I totally expected to see a business card or note on the door, selling tree cutting or snow plow services. I get about 3 per week. Those of you who have been to my house, know about the giant dead tree in my front yard. Ha. But no, instead, there is a brown box on the porch. What's in it?

THIS!

YAAAAAAAAY!

I stumbled upon the Daily Deal at housewaredeals.com through slickdeals about 30 minutes before the deal was over. Thank you insomnia! I got this beautiful set of 14 knives, kitchen shears and the wood block for $40.95 SHIPPED! I think that's a pretty good deal...don't tell me if it's not. Ignorance is bliss, k?

I look a tad scary here. Hopefully, this'll never make it into the news. EEK.

So- here it is, in all of it's sharp, stabby, metal glory in it's purdy little wood block stand. I'm in love. LOVE I TELL YOU! Love. I've been using hand-me-downs and cheap knives (except for my cook for the cure santoku knife- my favorite) from the Omaha Steak Company. Ha.

This is my KitchenAid corner.

Black Bottom Banana Bars.

My husband generally eats bananas like they're becoming extinct. However, the last few times I've bought them, he hasn't. Perhaps my pregnancy hormones are changing his eating habits. (See picture at right, lolsies)

Anyway, I've had 5 bananas looking like the ones described in the Grinch (You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel) icky! I don't like bad bananas, or how they smell.

Today, I finally decided to get them off of the shelf and turn them into something yummy and delicious! Thanks to Food.com's (formerly recipezaar.com) recipe for Black Bottom Banana Bars for helping me to get rid of those nasty bananas!

I decided not to change or alter the recipe in anyway- other than to add chocolate chips to the top and so far so good. I just took them out of the oven and OH MAN do they ever smell delicious! I can't wait until they cool and I can eat the shit out of them. **UPDATE- I just ate a little - surprised that I stopped myself from eating the whole pan, aren't you? Bastards. Anyway they're effing scrumptious. **

Photo courtesy of Derf, from Food.com, since mine didn't turn out nearly as thick as theirs!

Here's the recipe!

1/2 cup butter or 1/2 cup margarine, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups mashed ripe bananas (about 3 medium)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup baking cocoa

I also topped with a hand full of chocolate chips to make it look a little prettier (ok fine, I did change the recipe just a bit, but I don't think this counts!)

In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add egg and vanilla; beat until thoroughly combined. Blend in the bananas. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; add to creamed mixture and mix well. Divide batter in half. Add cocoa to half; spread into a greased 13-in x 9-in pan. (I think this is too large a pan, mine turned out really thin) Spoon remaining batter on top and swirl with a knife. (This also didn't turn out well, it didn't look like when you swirl a brownie batter with cream cheese, etc.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until the bars test done. Cool and enjoy!

Let me know what you think!

My Cheesy Obsession: Cheesy Potatoes

This is my aunt's recipe. I'm not sure where she got it. The fact that it came from my estranged aunt only subtracts slightly from the SUPER DELICIOUSNESS that is...CHEEEEEEESSSSYYYYY POTATOESSS!

2 lb. package frozen OreIda hash brown potatoes ("Southern Style", not shredded), thawed
1/4 c diced onion
1 can cream of chicken soup - undiluted
1 lb sour cream
4 tbsp butter or margarine, melted
8 oz cheddar cheese, keep some aside for topping (amount is up to you)
dash ground pepper

Preheat oven to 350. In a large bowl, mix together all ingredients. Pour into a 9x13 baking dish. Bake for one hour. Top with remaining cheese and bake for 15-20 minutes more. Remove from oven and serve! nom nom nom

"Everything" Chicken

I'm tired of oven fried, marinated grilled and gravy smothered chicken. Tonight, I needed something new, so I searched food.com and found this. I love making bagels, especially everything bagels so I thought these sounded scrumptious! It took less than 30 minutes from start to finish and is definitely a keeper (duh, I'm not adding it to the blog for no reason)

Of course, I don't measure anything, so I'll give you the measurements that were given on food.com.

3 tablespoons instant minced onion
3 tablespoons garlic flakes
3 tablespoons poppy seeds
3 tablespoons sesame seeds
1/2 tablespoons black pepper (they called for 2 tbsp)
1 tablespoons coarse salt or 1 tablespoons sea salt (they called for 2 tbsp)
1 1/2 lbs chicken tenders
extra virgin olive oil, for drizzling

Preheat oven to 375 f. In a bowl (I used a ziplock bag) drizzle the tenders with olive oil, coating completely. Mix all other ingredients to create the seed mixture in a separate bowl. Dip each tender into the seed mixture, making sure to coat completely. Place on an ungreased baking pan. Once all chicken tenders are covered, bake for 10-15 minutes, or until juices run clear. Enjoy!

Not My Grandmother's Chicken n Dumplin's

Now, I was taught by my VERY southern grandma how to make dumplin's. Also to- "NEVER STIR 'EM" because they'll stick to each other and the pan. I remember begging her for what seemed like forever to teach me. All the while, her excuse was that hardly any of the grand kids (I think there are 28 grand kids and multiple great grand kids on this side of the family) can make them. Most turn into "rocks" or "slime" or "just not right." The reason for this? Possibly because she literally cooked with a teacup, a hand full and a pinch of this and that. That's her recipe. No joke.
I cook very much the same way, which is why it's hard for me to actually measure, write them down and put them on these "interwebs." Please note, this isn't her recipe (you probably couldn't make it anyhow), nor is it remotely similar. I didn't hand make the dumplings. I added veggies. I didn't cook an entire chicken...but tenders instead. Today, I wanted a thicker stew-like version. I want it to stick to my ribs- more than it normally does...it's standard practice to have a bowl, sit a minute, undo your pants, get up and jump up and down while on your way to get another helping. nom nom nom delicious.
Here goes.

4 boneless chicken breasts (6 I used boneless/skinless chicken tenders)
2 cans cream of chicken soup (yes, even I sometimes use "cream of crap" soups, but RARELY)
2 cartons reduced sodium chicken stock
1 onion, medium, chopped
2 whole carrots, chopped (to my taste)
2 whole celery stalks, chopped (to my taste)
2 tsp butter
1 tsp celery salt
1 tbsp dried thyme
2 10 oz cans biscuits (I used Grands Jr-Flaky)
salt and pepper to taste

In a stock pot, over medium heat, add chicken, soup, stock, veggies, butter, celery salt and thyme. Cook until chicken is cooked through and veggies are no more than barely crunchy. Remove chicken and shred/chop/whatever you'd like to do and return to pot. About 90 minutes before serving, remove biscuits from can, flatten one by one and cut each into bite sized pieces. Add to pot, individually, to keep from sticking. Stir after every few biscuits have been added. At first, biscuits will start to spread out (like marshmallows when heated), but they'll go down. Cover and bring to boil then reduce heat to simmer. Cook until "dumplings" are no longer doughy. Put on your stretchy pants, serve and enjoy!


NOTE for those who can make their own dumplings, I think I'll actually make them instead of using biscuits this time, but it was pretty easy this way.

***Can be used as a crock pot recipe***
Add all ingredients except biscuits. Cook on high 5-6 hours. 90 minutes before serving, add biscuits as instructed above.

Grandma is probably rolling over in her grave. LOVE YOU GRANDMA!

Easiest, Most Scrumptious Pumpkin Muffins EVAH.

I was searching for a pumpkin bread or muffin recipe the other day that had any number less than 3 eggs. Most call for 4. I had 2. Boo hoo hoo. ANYWAY, on Food.com (formerly recipezaar.com) I found one! It called for ZERO eggs! WOOT! (Believe me- when you eat these things, you'll catch my excitement!)

The original poster stated that she acquired the recipe from a Weigh Watcher's meeting. GAG! But, alas, unlike most of the other healthy (read: ICKY) muffins, these haven't caused me to become good friends with The John, aka toilet.

Without further adieu, THE EASIEST MOST SCRUMPTIOUS MUFFIN RECIPE EVAH!!!!

INGREDIENTS:

1 15 oz. can pumpkin

1 18 oz. box cake mix, suggested: yellow, white or spice

(I used Dunkin Hines Butter Recipe Golden*)

*Because I used a non spiced mix, I added the following

1 tsp cinnamon, ground

.5 tsp nutmeg, ground

.5 tsp ginger, ground

Mix all ingredients until creamy. I'd suggest using a stand mixer as your arm will become VERY tired. Divide into lined muffin cups. *** Bake as directed on the box. I got 22 muffins.

***To jazz up the place, I decided to top the muffins, pre-baking, with a Crumb Topping recipe from the same site.

INGREDIENTS:

1/4 c all-purpose flour

1/3 c brown sugar, packed

2 tbsp butter or margarine, softened

1/2 tsp cinnamon, ground

In a separate bowl, mix ingredients, using fork or pastry cutter until mixture is crumbly. Top each muffin as evenly as possible.

http://www.food.com/recipe/pumpkin-muffins-12521

http://www.food.com/recipe/caramel-apple-pie-with-crunchy-crumb-topping-3577

(Sorry about the poor picture. I hate posts without pictures, but I didn't anticipate putting this on the blog.)

I've started a business!

See? To the right? It's a "Page Badge" from Facebook. The new business is called Black Lotus Massage. Awesome. If you have a Facebook page, you should "like" my Facebook Business Page. Super Awesome.

Banana Split Freezer Dessert Trifle-esk Thingie

**2/2/11 SO! According to my Live Traffic feed to the right, THIS is the most popular post found off of the web. If you've made it, please leave a review to let me know if you loved it, hated it, changed it, etc. I'd like to know YOUR opinions! Thanks so much!

I walked in on someone talking about a banana split dessert at work the other day. She said it was AWESOME, though it wasn't actually a banana split. So here it is, my challenge piece, the Banana Split Freezer Dessert Trifle Thingie.

3-4 bananas

1/2 gal Neapolitan ice cream (the kind in the box)

1/2 c chopped nuts

1 c chocolate chips

2 1/2 c graham cracker crumbs (divided)

1/2 c butter

1 1/2 c evaporated milk

1 tsp vanilla

1 16 oz Cool Whip, thawed

2 c powdered sugar

Cover the bottom of a 11x15 or 13x9 in pan with 1 1/2 c graham cracker crumbs. Thinly slice bananas and place over crumbs. Slice ice cream into 1/2 inch slices and layer next in the pan. Sprinkle with nuts. Place in the freezer until frozen solid.

While freezing, melt the chocolate chips & butter in a medium sauce pan over low heat. Add powdered sugar and evaporated milk. DO NOT BOIL. Cool mixture slightly. Remove pan from freezer and add chocolate as the next layer. Freeze again. Remove from freezer, cover with Cool Whip and sprinkle with remaining crumbs.

Keep frozen, remove 5 minutes before serving.

(not my photo)